'In my own way'

Janet:
If only you knew how to win some prizes
If only you knew how to play
If you could sleep nights
And stop your crying
Then you might find out I still love you in my own way.
If that's not enough then I am so sorry I met you
It was almost like leading you on.
But there's more to it all
Then just wringing your heart out over something
That keeps on going wrong.

So don't tell me you love me
How am I supposed to know what that means?
No don't sell emotion
You cant find devotion
If you're falling apart at the seams

I hope that you smile
When you reach your conclusion.
I hope that you'll know just what to say.

But if it should mean that the party is over
You should know that I still love you
You should know that I still love you
You should know that I still love you
In my own way. In my own way.
In my own way. In my own way.

'Thank God I'm a Man'
(aka. Thank God I'm a Male Chauvenistic Pig!)

Harry:
A man should call the toss(er)
Wear the pants, (or fishnets)
And be the boss! (eat me)
A man should be the drake
For his own damn sake.

And men should be the misters
And the masters of their sisters
A man should be the reason
For a heart to break. (what???)

Mrnes:
So, be moral
Don't quarrel
Fair and square is best


Women:
Let me alert you
That virtue
Won't hurt you
or desert you

Men:
If you wear hair on your chest

Aud:
So always remember to follow the rules.

Marnes:
Box clever

Men:
Jock's never

Harry:
{takes off golf hat} Hock another jock's tools! {Puts on helmet and starts up mower}

A man should wax a car
And fix a fuse
And tend a bar.
A man should like his brow
To be wet with sweat.

And should know the right occasions
To indulge in tax evasions
A man should know the settings
That his spark plugs get.

Faggots are maggots!
Thank god I'm a man.

(i think he likes his masculinity...or lack thereof. Wanker)

'Denton Denton'

Nely:
You'll find happy hearts, and smiling faces
And tolerance for the ethnic races (what about Transvestites with a big...hairdo.sorry >:)- in Denton.


Harry:
You'll find a rambling rose {clips bush with scissors}
And a picket fence.

Emily:
Tenderness, and innocence {turns knob on machine}
In Denton {bites the thread}

Cop:
You'll find conference rooms
And a children's playground.{locks jail cell door}
Denton is a real okay town {makes okay sign, walks to the T}
Civic pride and civic duty.
And Denton girls are {wolf whistles} full of beauty.

{Cheerleaders run forwards and dance their cheer}

Cheerleaders:
You may call us the goodie goodie two shoes
Were here to cheer you with the good news
That D - E - N - T - O - N gets T - E - N
That's ten out of ten!

{Ralph has a phone receiver in his left hand and on his right shoulder}

Ralph:
If you're looking for a life of leisure

Macy:
Your gonna get a whole lot to please ya

Ralph:
Again and again

Macy:
And again and again

Both:
And again! {Ralph and Macy shrug}

Aud:
Denton, Denton, you've got no pretension
You're where the heart is you're okay!
Denton, Denton, I'd just like to mention
You're the home of youth.
You're America's truth.
You're Denton Denton USA!

Emily:
This is the Mecca of America

Harry:
The Bethlehem of the west

Emily:
This is the birthplace of the virtuous.

Harry:
The home of {clips bush with scissors} happiness

Macy:
Leisure wise, we're sure you will adapt.

Ralph:
{To left phone} Enjoy your stay.
{To right phone} Have a happy holiday.

Chrldrs:
And we'll all put Denton Denton on the map.

Aud:
Denton, Denton, you've got no pretension
You're where the heart is you're okay!
Denton, Denton, I'd just like to mention
You're the home of youth.
You're America's truth.
You're Denton Denton USA!
{Audience rises}

Denton, Denton, you've got no pretension
You're where the heart is you're okay!
Denton, Denton, I'd just like to mention
You're the acceptable face,
{Camera goes through the faces of people in the set}
Of the human race.
You're Denton Denton USA

'Bitchin in the Kitchen'

MAncr:
It looks like Brad and Janet are heavily amazed today. Here's
some more prizes to amaze, here on Marriage Maze.

Brad:
Dear blender,
(You won't blend into the background with this in your home)
Oh won't you help a first offender.
Oh, toaster.
(Pop up in the popularity ratings)
Don't you put the burn on me.
(Look at this!)
Refrigerator, why are we always sooner or later.
Bitchin in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night.

(Living on the knife edge)
Dear knife drawer
(Stay sharp with this keen knife enhancer)
Now won't you help me to face life more
Oh, trashcan
(You can't can what the trashcan can)
Don't you put the dirt on me.
Oh percolator, why are we always sooner or later.
(No toil no trouble)
Bitchin in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night.

Janet:

Everything used to be okay,
But I've been had.
And Brad, I'm glad to say, is on his way.
(Try a prize computer wise)
Micro digital awaker, why are we always sooner or later
Bitchin in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night.

{Bert walks across the set}

Shower curtain
(Wash those blues away)
Oh won't you help me to be certain.
Oh toothpaste,
(Arm yourself with - teeth)
Don't you put the squeeze on me.
Depilitator, why are we always sooner or later
Bitchin in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom night.